an old friend visits...

i had a very amusing dream last night about an old friend of mine that i don't talk to any more ... we just changed too much (that's a different story). anyway, she was completely offended by something i did and was trying to turn all of my friends against me. it was hilarious to me since i haven't spoken to this person in nearly two years but the effect on my heart was the same as if a dear friend of mine had stabbed me in the back ... just terrifying. luckily, i woke up just in time (i've been very into kicking people's asses in my dreams ... tae-bo makes me violent) to keep myself from accidentally kicking boy. (i kicked boy the night before when i thought someone was trying to steal the oscar i had won for adapting a sweet pickles book.) boy is not thrilled with my current dreams.

anyway, so i was just thinking about this old friend of mine.

i sat at work doing nothing for three hours tonight ... not one appointment ... not one walk-in. i just sat there like a lump ... growing mold ... at least i'm a cute lump ... even with the mold.

i haven't been in a place where i'm the different one in so long, that being here in new orleans is still a shock to me. in boston, i blended in quite nicely, even with purple hair. tattoos and studded bracelets ... it didn't matter because there was always someone around who was more punk, more indie, more emo than me. here, they looked at me funny for wearing dark purple nail polish. i started laughing uproariously. i quite frequently do. but that's not my point, my point is that i don't feel bad or lost or discouraged or silenced ... i feel like these people are kind of missing the point, that any sort of light right now would be too strong for their blind eyes. i'm not that different. i'm only a bit outspoken. i say what's on my mind. a lot of girls here don't like that, but i get along better with guys anyway. forgive me, but it's been nine months of being different. isolation is making me a bit thin-skinned, but i know it's good for me. i know it's what i chose. just a little bit longer.

eckhard was in my dream last night, i think he just stopped by to say hi. hello, eck-to-the-hard-yo. big hugs.

on the brighter side of life ... my old boss finally finished his comic book "glueboy" and oh the hijinks! we all know how much i love hijinks. if you like them to then follow this shameless plug for "glueboy" ... http://members.aol.com/shaferwil

if only because my old boss is awesome and he worked diligently on this great masterpiece.

so here's to tonight folks, i'm opening up another diet coke for you.