family strikes again
went to see the yayasisterhood movie last night. boy actually wanted to see it ... so we took the latest movie and the book was still better. any woman who has had a superiority problem with her mother really needs to read this book (and "my mother, myself"). it amazes me still how much of an identity crisis i have on a weekly basis because i'm trying so hard not to be my mother. for a while there, i ended up quite similiar to my father, but that's completely different. the point is that in becoming my mother or my father alone, i find myself horribly uninterested in my own humanity. it's a bad position to find yourself in .. especially since i try so hard to rebel. of course, when i don't try at all, that's when i succeed. yeah, that just pisses me off more.
mom and dad, i wasn't trying to rebel when i moved down to new orleans. that wasn't a missile pointed at you. the huge tattoo on my neck, the pierced tongue, and the purple hair ... take that as a scream, a punch that was over thrown ... at least now, i can enjoy who i've become (at least to a point). at least now, i can revel in my expressed individuality. it's all jsut a small step in the famed revolution. but dammit, i didn't go to film school to piss you off. i didn't grow my own opinion to show you up.
hell, i don't even know if my parents really feel like that, but i have become the "colorful" one at family gatherings. if it's off-color, i'm not sure.
ya-ya and all that, it's worth seeing.
on a higher note, i'm going to continue my screenplay that was inadvertantly swiped by the wb. AND i've started another more intricate and delicate story idea. BWAHAHAHAHA. cut and send.
i've just finished a conversation with my cousin who's going on thirteen in a small town in connecticut. i've been hanging out with her, trying to show her new things all of her life. we'd go to the mall and people watch. or i'd jsut take her out for a slice. for her birthday one year, i gave her a journal to kinda let her know that there's always someone to talk to ... no matter how much you feel that your parents don't understand. she's always kinda looked up to me in a weird way. it just so happens that she's a lot like i was when i was her age, but she's quieter. i was quite obnoxious (hehehe, 'was'). anyway, talking to her just made me think of all the times ... well, all the times that if i knew then what i know now ... would i? yeah, most likely, i would.
i suppose, a lot of things have changed, and there's things i'd do over if i could. but there's no such thing as regret in my vocabulary. i guess we all have the secrets and sorrow that we hang on to no matter how much joy tries to push it out. i have a tight grip and a heavy heart, but i'm a legend in my head.
