ben wonders, "how big are your muscles?"
most recently, it found us in the (c)harming small town resort of "the beach club" in gulf shores, al. finding that we each had two days off in a row, boy's family was vacationing at the conveniently located beach town, and i have a fairly reliable car ... boy and girl venture over the twin spans and through the harrowing biloxi-ridden mississippi and into alabama (home of the rather luxorious rest areas) for a day and a half vacation ... drifter-style.
sunday morning, 9:25am
i wake up and stumble downstairs, half-naked, to retrieve the 8 pound sunday paper. green plaid robe falling off of my shoulders, i succeed in grumbling and glaring at about four passing cars and one pedestrian. i trip on the stairs on my way back up. i climb back into bed and read something about how new orleans is gonna sink into the ocean but we've got a few tons of concrete protecting us. no one seems to mind that if the levee breaks, we all die. i find doonesbury rather hilarious.
this is just the beginning of a long day involving more than just a dead dog on the trolley tracks, zero visibility, and water towers.
things i learned on alabama state highway 59:
- me and god need to talk (says a billboard)
- bars called "tiny's" rarely have windows.
- alabama completely supports flea markets.
- microsurgical vasectomy reversals are affordable and available.
- god wonders what part of "thou shalt not" we don't get (billboard number two!)
- burris's fruit stand is the second light on the right.
- hunter's home center really sells bungalows.
- tina is our local real estate queen.
- if you're pregnant and scared, you don't have to kill your baby. someone else will raise it for you in a controlling christian atmosphere with lots of doilies and chocolate chip cookies, and god won't hate you.
- paw paw's has the best campers.
and these are just a few of the fascinating facts that highway reading can give your mind. soak up the fun in loxley, alabama.
so we finally found this elusive resort at which boy's family is vacationing... it's a beautiful place. gorgeous beach, many pools, and plenty of alcohol. let me tell you, kids can show up in your life at just the right times. i've been having a problem lately that i hadn't much encountered in my life. i've been taking things a bit too seriously. michael, ben, and julia fixed my 9 month old problem in about 12 hours.
michael (age 12) to boy: "which store in the mall would you rather work at?"
boy: "i'd rather not work in a mall at all."
michael: "well, what job do you want?"
boy: "brad pitt's next movie."
michael: "oh, you should go do that."
ben (age six ... and a half): (sipping his drink)"this isn't dr. pepper, it's coffee. hey, lindsay, this is coffee."
boy: well, lindsay's allergic to coffee and if she drinks it, she gets very sick. why doesn't she take a sip to prove it's coffee, not dr. pepper?"
ben: i don't want her to get sick, so i'm not going to let her drink my coffee."
julia (age four): "next year, i'll be five. then i'll be six. then i'll be six and a half. when i get bigger, i'll swim all the way out there (points to the far horizon). i'm gonna put a ring in my tongue when i get big. we can't put our feet up here, cause you know what's dangerous? this is(she points to the ledge of the balcony). i love this necklace. daddy said there are sharks but they're way down there on the other beach."
it pays to look at things a little differently. michael really likes to put things simply and spent most of his time asking boy his opinion on video games. ben likes to fantasize .... he spent the whole morning running around the condo, sucking in his stomach, saying "I'M SKINNY! I'M SKINNY!" over and over again. julia just loves everything to bits and isn't afraid to show it. she showed me her "clean shell" several times, but when she lost it in an ocean wave ... she just shrugged and assumed it was for the better.
julia: "i'll see you when i get big tomorrow."
every time i see these kids, i fall in love with the world all over again.
