his red zero.

that made me cry. i hadn't read it in three months, open and alive, since the day he died.

this.

sometimes, who we were when we were together brought me so much higher than i'll ever be again.

i remember when boy came into my room, a little hesitant. he sat on the edge of my bed, and he opened his notebook. and he read me "red zero", voice breaking, one hand on mine. he looked at me and smiled ... both of us had tears in our eyes, because we couldn't believe we could feel that kind of love.

yeah, the kind that makes it ok.

but there it was, right on that college-rule, straight up black ink, in his handwriting ... how could we say no.