intended goodbye.
Sunday, Mar. 09, 2003
time doesn't take it away, and i don't know how to open my eyes. it's just longer, more, and mundane without him.
it's only gotten harder.
there's only more weight.
i'm less of a person everyday.
there are mornings i wake up to that want and desire. those mornings i try to will my body to stop working. i slow my heartbeat and hold my breath. my heart says no. my mind says please stop. even my passion lives only out of habit. but it won't stop and i don't understand why. i can't do it without him.
i can't talk to him, and i can't see him, and i can't hear him. hell never knew such silence.
i'm nobody now, and i can't stop it.
fuck this salvation, and i turn my back to this future without you.
