what's a texas boy got to do with me?

i forgot the lines i was going to write for you in my journal. i thought of them while sitting quietly on my front porch, and i thought, i'll write them down later ... when i have a pen.

i curled up in the porch chair, and i finished my cigarette. i glanced at the tree, and it glanced back at me with a mild disinterest.

speckled with forgetfulness and plagued with remembering, i step into my own lack of grace. somehow, you know there are no answers, and so you ask no questions. and whatever gave a texas boy like you the idea that i couldn't be just another girl?

you have an edge of crisped sugar and the eyes to match ... i'm starting to think she was right when she told me i have a knack for picking the guys with the greatest smiles.

there is no sequence to these events, and there is no reason beyond now for the way you know just what to say. and my mom always told me that i meet all the right people at all the right times, and i'm starting to think that maybe she had the right idea.

i find you interesting and genuinely intelligent, which is proving to be a rare commodity. and so i shake and fret. because i'm already on the ground, and i tend to bruise so easily. i'm not scared of trusting you; i'm just scared.

i don't want to put this weight on your shoulders or show you the pale past of horrible forgiveness that has been bestowed on me, but i'm just another girl. some freckled face lost in a crowd. some girl.

you make me laugh so lightly, and how do you go on without that inherent hesitance in your voice like no one has ever done you wrong?

you don't flinch at the sound of my memories, shaking, subsiding into the five months that it's been since i heard his voice, his breathing.

this is harder than i thought, but it's coming so easily ... when i think, i don't want to hurt you. i don't want to let you down. but let's not plan any future, just give me now.

when i picked you up that morning, all i could think was this is the way it should be, and this is the way it is. because you're making me face fears, locked away in a sunny day in november.

you see, you've got this genius of making my days off into brilliance and a tenderness in just sitting next to me. all my friends adore you, and my mom says you sound like a nice boy.

so, there's so much i want to say and so few words that actually make it out of my delicate wiring. they say that a girl never had it so hard, and it's difficult to watch someone like me cry. but when you come around, the nights are a little bit easier, and i tend to be able to look up at the stars.

i'm more than sincere.