when we meet.

illuminated by the cherry of your cigarette, you raise your torso to meet mine and take it all in at once.

there's nothing between us. no air. no wires. no cloth. nothing at all.

you push your hands into my chest, right over my heart, and you part the skin. your fingers work through and under flesh and bone. you cup your left hand under my slowing heart. you rest your right directly over it.

slowly, and with your eyes on mine, you begin to pump, methodically and diligently.

your lips are parted slightly.

i'm straddled over your legs, losing consciousness.

your movements are deliberate and poised.

white is creeping into the edges of my vision, and i'm choking on the nothing.

you push your forehead against mine.

i can barely feel when you begin to cry.

your hands move more quickly, still beating my heart for me.

i take in the deepest breath, and stars litter my vision.

slowly and with care, you release and pull your hands back.

illuminated only by the cherry of your cigarette, you drop your torso to the mattress and put your hands behind your head. your lips parted slightly, you smile.

it's only everything i ever wish i could have done for you.