saint valentine.
where was i last year?
i got together with a group of friends, and we had "game night" to the tune of two bottles of whisky, a case of beer, and some odd vodka. we all learned that he thought tampon was spelled "tampoon" ... we all learned not to let rockstar make up pictionary clues ... we all learned that time spent with friends takes the edge off the pink and the red.
what was i doing three years ago?
i was working my bad job, but i went home to something better and a delirium figurine on my computer. my frustrations were just beginning. my life was in its final stages of fuck this.
what was i doing six years ago?
i went on my first date with a guy i thought was way too good for me. turned out i was right.
and today? i rock back and forth on decisions that need to be made. i stare out into the gray covering over an irish sky. once in a while, i wonder what happened to it all. more frequently though, i wrap myself in my own arms because the arms i need are far away and locked into a frustrating job. i stand at my window and smoke, meticulously placing the cigarette butt in the small glass jar on the sill. i try not to think about the things that are hurting me. i try not to believe in fear. i try to remember, that once upon a time, they all thought i was strong enough. i remember who that girl was, and when the light catches my eye, i resent her.
