patronizing myself

there's something about a good talk with a good friend that makes a bad day turn into a bright night.

i've been having qualms about my move to austin ... searching my brain and my life for questions and answers to situations that should not even be near my petty little head. i've been wondering when-if-how to move and do i give my notice to work and wouldn't it just be easier to stay here another year until i go back to school and i could tough it out and where am i getting all this money to rent a truck and move my furniture and i have to shake off this feeling that this is my fear of commitment coming back to haunt me and what if i'm not any happier there and what the fuck kind of job is really gonna make me feel fulfilled and who could i meet that could be at all more exciting than boy and who are the cats going to be happier with and for the love of god, which one of us gets the a-sym cd!?!

but my calm friend, over a scratchy cell phone as i am pounding down state street potholes, just says, "happiness is key, that's what i always think."

maybe when i find the key, i can focus on the goddamn lock.