my last forty hours
saturdays at the studio suck ass.
all day long with mother's screaming louder than their children about how they have to wait an hour to get their kids pictures taken just because they were twenty minutes late for their appointment or accidentally called the wrong studio or blah blah blah.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! wait your goddamn turn.
they think we live just to piss them off. but you know what, an hour later, their baby's still not going to sit down, smile, and wait patiently .... this is the perfect birth control, seeing as i'm never having children now if only to prevent myself from ever becoming the patronizing, heartless wench of a mother who doesn't understand why her two year old won't take a lame bribe to smile and is getting frustrated at this twenty-something photographer who clearly has been doing this all day long and really just wants to go home to a stiff drink and definitely has no emotions and is not a human being to be treated decently, right?
motherfuckers, like i want to be there hearing about how your two week old always smiles. well, you know what? that baby won't know how to smile until it's three months old ... that was just gas.
something else i encountered yesterday... (and many other days) people get very upset when they find out that they have to have the coupon to get the coupon price. have you ever shown up at the grocery store and said, oh, by the way, i had a coupon but i lost it ... can you give me fifty cents off this anyway? they would laugh at you. and i'm tempted to do the same.
oh and yes, even you have to pay for all of your portraits the day you order them. do you order from a catalogue and pay when you get your tacky taupe rich lady pants? no. you pay before you even see how badly they blow up your ass.
the last thing i learned at work yesterday ... i love my job ... but it's not for the joy i bring to the parents ... it's because, dammit, the kids are something special, and no amount of parental disfunction is going to change that, no matter how hard you heartless wretches try.
