you try to live forever.

and i get so angry sometimes, when i wake up in the morning, convinced that it's all been a dream. that he'll call at any moment. that i'll be able to hold him one more time. i have to relearn my world all over again.

with all the stupid people in the whole fucking world, why him? why the fuck did they take him? who thought up this reason, this terror? who decided to make that one breath his last?

i'm not brilliant, but i'm smart enough to know that there's a reason for everything, but this is lost on me. this has tumbled into a hole in my heart, growing ever wider by the moment. this reason is twisted and grieving, wearing black at his funeral. this reason is lost on me because i could never do him justice.

my tears fall without pain, without hope, without thought ... they just fall, meeting the ground with such freedom.