kodak crashing.

i went through all my old pictures today, choosing and remembering and wishing that i'd taken more... only a couple hundred moments down on paper with a fine gloss. i wish i hadn't run out of film or you out of time.

you drinking tea out my "my little pony" mug, and you on the phone with your mother. us at my graduation or lying on his bed talking to the ceiling. you playing guitar or eating chinese ... it was every sunday night. us at the zoo and you screaming "ROCK!" on our roadtrip to louisville.

i wish i'd gotten that one moment when you first said, "i love you." i can't believe i missed the day you fought yourself for me. those days behind the counter at the video store and the fourth of july that you took me up to the roof and the nights that we stayed up talking through. i wish my camera could have been everywhere with us.

but i've only got a few of your smiles, a couple of those "put down the damn camera" looks, and one of those loving stares.