bet on it.

you want to tell me something, then go ahead and tell me. don't hide behind what you should could would do if you would have had the chance. don't think about how it's going to make me feel or what i need to be thinking or how i should be acting. you want to say something about the state of things, then go ahead and fucking say it.

you want to tell me what it was like?

you want to fess up and push me down?

you want to finally tell me that you never believed in us? that you never thought we had a chance? yeah, it hurts you now. believing in us was halfway believing in him, and you couldn't do that, could you?

heaven forbid that you believe in him while he was still here.

i put it down. i fucking put it down on the line, right before i crossed it. i stepped over boundaries, broke rules, and bent light for him. i tore myself up, and i put it down. all of it, fucking let it ride, because it was all for him.

picked it up, moved it down out to the student ghetto, moved it down south, moved it right into his bedroom where only the sweetest ever came to rest. but it always ended with me putting it right back down on that line.

if i had more to give him, i would have. if i had had more money, more energy, more love, more strength, more anything, it would have gone right down on that line. that was all for him.

go ahead and say it. it wasn't enough. it wasn't anything that you couldn't have given him.

but i was the one that put it down.

i'm not afraid to say it. i gave up opportunities jobs friends money ... all just to be with him. but i saw it. i saw it in him, and i saw what was on that line. what was on that line already belonged to him, without me saying one word. i'm not scared to say that he made me weak. i'm not afraid to say that i wasn't the pinnacle of an independant woman.

but more importantly, i'm not afraid to say that he's making me stronger now. i was something to him. i was special, and i was important. i was someone in his eyes, and not a goddamn word that comes out of your mouth can tell me otherwise. fuck being young, fuck the fact that we weren't properly married, fuck the entire concept of boy meets girl.

we belonged to each other.

so go ahead and say it. say it. she's just the girlfriend. just a close friend. just some girl he lived with.

would it be any different if i had a little piece of paper saying he owned me and i owned him?

would that have really changed that look in your eyes?

something inside of me doubts it.

you want to tell me who he was. you think you know? go ahead and try. for every hundred words that come out of your mouth, i've got a blink that says more.

i'm not afraid to say that i'm the one that put it down.