take your job and ...

i'm supposed to be at work right now. but it's not healthy for me right now. it's not fitting in my carefully programmed emotional schedule. i'll go in in a couple of hours.

it's gotten chilly in this austin day, and my toes are feeling their worst. i stayed up too late last night, and i'm tired of not having my saturdays to myself.

i used to work at this used cd store on newbury street in boston. i spent all my spare time there when i should have been doing my homework or filming something or other, but i couldn't get past the fact that they paid me to have fun and listen to music. i signed up for every shift i could muster and mocked the customers with my boss. you know, it was the type of store where the customer is always wrong ... and probably stupid too. but that's what our customers loved us for, and that's what we loved ourselves for.

i walked across the street twice a day to grab a snickers and a liter of soda for myself, pepsi and beef jerky for my boss. in the morning, it was dunkin donuts ... breakfast sandwiches and coffee and donuts every monday morning. since i didn't have to drive, i always forgot the most obvious things at home ... my wallet or my keys. boy would ride the train for forty five minutes to meet me for my half an hour lunch break and bring me my stupid things. i'd buy him little toys from the store or whatever cd was playing in his head. my boss and him would chat for a while over the buying counter, and he'd always try to talk her into giving me a raise. i'd just laugh and grab my bag to head to the bagel shop to buy us both lunch. i used to really love my job and all the mundane tasks that came with it. my friends used to stop by, and they'd be welcome. i didn't have to wear a name tag or pretend to be happy.

there was a time when one of the cd spins crew passed away. we piled into cars and headed out into the suburban waste of massachusetts. we stood in the back, and i wondered why they call it a wake. of course, we didn't want to see her go. the car was quiet as we headed back to boston. i got home, and boy opened his arms as i slowly began to cry.

there was a time when i needed help, and my boss offered with full heart as i told her my story to pick me up at the clinic. neither boy or i had a car in boston, and she didn't want us to take a cab.

we had parties for holidays and pizza on slow thursday nights.

i used to love my job, and all the people that came with it.

then again, i used to do a lot of things.

anything for a buck, right? so here, have my dollar and all the dignity that comes with it.