home for the holidays.

come and gone, i found myself breathing shallow in a dark place with cold puddled around my feet.

my brother came out, and he asked if i was ok.

i have no answer for that question. but that it was cold, and i didn't feel it. but that he was there and now gone. but that i can't do this anymore.

and so we talked a bit, and i chain-smoked his cigarettes.

because it's been a hard year. because "we live the best we can."