today, we fly.

i went outside the sliding glass doors, and i sat down on the bench where i had been about four months ago.

four months ago, i sat there waiting for the bus. it was a warm and hazy morning and my first breaths in ireland.

today, i'm returning 'home' with nothing but a couple euro in my pocket and half a bottle of water.

please note: boarding begins in one hour.

so, i was sitting on this bench, kinda remembering my first morning here. kinda remembering how fuckin scared i was, but of course ... not wanting it to show. i sat there and chainsmoked with one eye on the sky and the other on my hands, shaking.

i had gotten myself into quite a pickle. i didn't know a soul here. i didn't know where i was going. i just knew that i was in ireland. i was not in austin. i didn't have boston memories or new orleans evenings. just me.

four months later ....
i've made myself a little home. i survived my classes (still working on one of them, but details schmetails). i know my way around. i've got a flatmate who's like a little sister to me. i've got a really close friend who misses me when i'm not there. i've got this incredible guy who really shines quite a light on my days.

and now, i'm going to what is supposed to be home, the comfort and security of my parents' roof ...

no matter where i go, there i am. home is a state of mind.

so why can't i wait to come back here?

there's a bustle all around me of tricky luggage carts and 'please have your boarding passes ready' ... i'm in the place that charges a euro forty for half a liter of water but gives the internet away for free.

there's a singing santa band just downstairs, motorized red and white fuzz that makes all the little toddlers bounce and jive like they've been dancing their whole lives.

ah, duty free shopping, when will you ever cease to amaze us?

i slept well on the bus, and now i'm sure to stay awake for the flight.

there have been a few teary-eyed goodbyes over the past week as it will be a few weeks before we see each other again. how are we so close so quickly?

i'm sitting here in this 'estuary cafe' ... a bit anxious and occupied with imagining stories for these people around me. it's how i am when i'm in an airport, and honestly, it's one of my favorite places to be.

transition offers up meager, cheap, and invaluable opportunity. it's the sam's club of mental branding.

even i don't know what that means.

i have to go tromp by the tourist stores, resist the duty free shop, and bask in the pungent aroma of vinyl seats and metal detectors.

i love airports.