the outer rings of cgs ... page two

when i finally began to make some friends other than the atypical collection of five o'clock shadows, it was because a few girls in some of my classes began to approach me with cautious attitudes.

v was this perky, petite girl with a tendency toward the gap. when she laughed, she would cover her small pursed mouth with one hand and squeak ... she sounded just like an overworked mouse. tiny and composed, she latched onto me with a passion. we followed each other around, learning by doing, studying and complaining, loving and leaving with such utter disregard for what was happening around us. as long as i could leave class and she would be waiting in the hall, i could pass by the fact that maybe i wasn't happy ... because here was a girl that would laugh at my jokes, listen to my stories, and overlook my campy punkrock attitude.

i think i showed her that it was ok to make a fool of yourself .. striding down commonwealth avenue in my famous overalls shouting "manic monday" by the bangles while hoisting my notebooks into the air or swinging my patchy messenger bag around my neck.

she definitely taught me the delicacies of frozen yogurt, the joy of being an individual, and how exactly one person can make another happy just by existing ... we never had to agree or exhibit intelligence in the same topics or even go to shows together. it was the fact that we were both stuck between a rock and a hard place where neither of us quite fit the control group that eventually brought us to be the odd couple ... me, chain-smoking ... her, waving the smoke away from her face. me, cargo pants and tattoos ... her, khakis and a crucifix ... me, loud and outspoken ... her, shy and confident.

whether she found me at the small university-run diner next door or basking in a cloud of smoke and misery, v always found me and dragged me out of the fog. she always gave me a hug and let me know, out loud and truthfully, that no matter what, i was special to her and to the world .. because i was the only one like me.

that, my friends, is more than what i needed my freshman year ... that booster shot nourished my confidence for years to come.